That must be the story of innumerable couples,and the pattern of lifeof life it offers has a homely grace.It
reminds you of a placid rivulet,meandering smoohtly through green pastures and shaded by pleasant
trees,till at last it falls into the vasty sea;but the sea is so calm,so silent,so infifferent,that you are troubled
suddently by a vague uneasiness.Perhaps it is only by a kink in my nature,strong in me even in those
days,that i felt in such an existence,the share of the great majority,something amiss.I recognized its social
value.I saw its ordered happiness,but a fever in my blood asked for a wilder course.There seemed to me
something alarming in such easy delights.In my heart was desire to live more dangerously.I was not
unprepared for jagged rocks and treacherous,shoals it I could only have change-change and the
exicitement of unforeseen.
這一定是世間無數(shù)對夫妻的生活寫照,這種生活模式給人一種天倫之美。它使人想起一條平靜的溪流,蜿
蜒暢游過綠茵的草場,濃蔭遮蔽,最后注入煙波浩渺的汪洋大海;但是大海太過平靜,太過沉默,太過不
動聲色,你會突然感到莫名的不安。也許這只是我自己的一種怪誕想法,在那樣的時代,這想法對我影響
很深:我覺得這像大多數(shù)人一樣的生活,似乎欠缺了一點兒什么。我承認這種生活有社會價值,我也看到
了它那井然有序的幸福,但我血液里的沖動卻渴望一種更桀驁不馴的旅程.這樣的安逸中好像有一種叫我
驚懼不安的東西.我的心渴望一種更加驚險的生活。只要生活中還能有變遷———以及不可知的刺激,我
愿意踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖,奔赴暗礁滿布的海灘。
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