They say that love is blind. And that's probably for the best. Because a new study shows that people who greatly idealize their spouses have the happiest marriages. For the first few years, anyway. The research appears in the journal Psychological Science.
Most people mentally accentuate their partners' better qualities. At least during courtship. If we didn't, who would ever tie the knot? But some folks take these fantasies to cartoonish extremes. Now, you'd think such people are in for a rude awakening when they realize they married a real human being with real human flaws. But this new study says it isn't so.
Researchers recruited 222 newlywed couples and followed them for three years. They periodically asked the subjects to describe themselves and their partners. And they found that people who maintained the most unrealistic view of their better halves were actually the most satisfied with their marriage.
When the honeymoon's over, it could be that those who idealize their mates may be more likely to forgive the transgressions that arise when people are no longer on their best behavior. Whatever the reason, the study suggests that couples should exchange rings-and rose-colored glasses.
人說愛情是盲目的——很可能這樣最好。一項新的研究表明,將配偶大大理想化的人擁有最幸福的婚姻——至少最初幾年是這樣。該項研究發(fā)表于《心理科學(xué)》期刊。
很多人總是更多地看到伴侶身上的優(yōu)點——至少在求愛期。要不是這樣,又怎會結(jié)此良緣?但有些人將此幻想過分夸大了。你可能會想,當(dāng)這些人意識到他們嫁(娶)的也不過是一個有著各種缺點的普通人時,一定會恍然驚醒。相反,這項研究表明其實并非如此。
研究者招募了222對新婚夫婦,做了3年的跟蹤研究。他們定期讓研究對象描述自己及其伴侶。他們發(fā)現(xiàn),那些一直對自己"更好的另一半"持有過于理想看法的人,最滿意自己的婚姻。
當(dāng)蜜月結(jié)束,人不再處于最佳表現(xiàn)狀態(tài)時,那些將配偶理想化的人更可能原諒配偶后來出現(xiàn)的種種"不如人意".不論原因為何,該研究結(jié)果都表明,新人在交換戒指時,也交換下"玫瑰色的眼鏡"吧。 |