1.Make time for friendships. Nothing makes closeness fade away more than never talking to or seeing each other. While some bonds of friendship may be strong enough to span long silences, most aren't. If you cherish a person's friendship, make time for him or her, whether it's just the occasional phone call, e-mail or a weekly get-together.
為朋友騰出時(shí)間。不交流，也不見面會(huì)讓朋友日漸疏遠(yuǎn)。盡管有的友誼足夠牢固，經(jīng)得起長(zhǎng)時(shí)間冷卻，但大多數(shù)是不行的。如果你珍惜一人友情，就為他或她留出時(shí)間。不管是偶爾打個(gè)電話，或是發(fā)一封郵件，又或是周末聚會(huì)。
1)On your computer at home or work, make a note to "call friends" regularly.
在你公司或家里的電腦上貼個(gè)便條“給朋友打電話”。
2)Keep a Post-it note on the phone, the bathroom mirror, the car dashboard, anywhere you're likely to see it.
貼張便條在電話上，浴室的鏡子上，或汽車擋板上，任何你可能看到的地方。
3)Also make sure your friends' phone numbers are programmed into your phone. Then call a friend when you have a spare 10 minutes.
確認(rèn)你電話里存有朋友的電話號(hào)碼，有空的時(shí)候給朋友打個(gè)電話。
4)Schedule a regular once-a-month lunch – same time, same place.
定期安排一個(gè)月一次的午餐，同一時(shí)間，同一地點(diǎn)。
2.Remember: a true friend doesn't flee when changes occur. Nothing is sadder for new parents than to find that their single friends have abandoned them because of the baby. A good friend is one who stays true through it all – marriage, parenthood, new jobs, new homes, any losses. Just because a situation's changed doesn't mean the person has.
記�。赫嬲桥笥咽窃诎l(fā)生變故時(shí)仍留在你身邊。沒有什么比這更難過了，剛當(dāng)爸媽卻發(fā)現(xiàn)他們的單身朋友因?yàn)樗麄冇辛诵『⒕头艞壛怂麄�。好朋友是能夠�?jīng)歷一切的：結(jié)婚，生兒育女，新工作，新家庭，任何損失。因?yàn)榍闆r改變了并不意味人改變了。
3.Make sure you aren't being a burden to a friend. Friendships fade away if there isn't an equilibrium between the give and the take. Be sensitive to how much your friend can and can't offer you – be it time, energy or help – and don't overstep the mark. And vice versa: friendships that drain you will not last. If a friendship is out of balance, talk the situation through.
確保你不會(huì)成為朋友的負(fù)擔(dān)。如果付出和回報(bào)不平衡，友誼會(huì)逐漸褪色。對(duì)于哪些朋友能給予哪些不能給予要很敏感—無(wú)論是時(shí)間，精力或幫助，不要逾越界限，反之亦然。拖后腿的友誼不會(huì)長(zhǎng)久的。如果友誼失去了平衡，就要說(shuō)出來(lái)。
4.Be a good listener. It can be the hardest thing in the world to do – simply to listen as he or she pours it all out or is seeking your advice or opinion. To be a better listener, follow this advice:
做一個(gè)好的聆聽者。這也許是世界上最難的事情—只是聽他或她的傾訴或是向你尋求建議。做一位好的聆聽者，有以下建議：
1)Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs to indicate that you understand his or her point of view.
保持眼神交流。時(shí)不時(shí)的點(diǎn)頭和低語(yǔ)表明你了解他的觀點(diǎn)。
2)Don't finish your friend's sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus.
不要插話。如果當(dāng)朋友在講話時(shí)你正準(zhǔn)備回應(yīng)，提醒你自己集中精力。
3)Minimize distractions – don't write or read e-mails, open the mail or watch television while you're on the phone to your friend. He or she will hear the lack of interest in your responses.
盡量減少分心—當(dāng)你在接朋友電話時(shí)不要寫或閱讀電子郵件，打開郵件或看電視。他或她會(huì)在你的回答中聽到冷漠。
4)Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to let off steam, not necessarily ask for a plan of action.
提供建議需謹(jǐn)慎。假使你的朋友只是想發(fā)泄不滿，不一定是尋求行動(dòng)的計(jì)劃。
5.Be in your friend's corner if he or she's not there to defend him or herself. If you're at a gathering at which someone mentions your friend disparagingly, defend him or her against gossip or criticism. Say, "Mary is my friend, and it makes me feel bad to hear you talk this way." Sooner or later, news of your loyalty will travel back to your pal, and it will deepen your friendship.
當(dāng)朋友不在場(chǎng)時(shí)要站出來(lái)為他們辯護(hù)。當(dāng)你站在一群人中正在說(shuō)你朋友的壞話，你要站出來(lái)為他辯護(hù)，說(shuō)，“瑪麗是我的朋友，你們這樣說(shuō)她，我感覺很不好。”早晚，你朋友會(huì)知道你對(duì)友情的忠誠(chéng)，而且會(huì)加深你們的友誼。
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