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新托福寫作“不”準(zhǔn)則

作者:   發(fā)布時間:2011-03-08  來源:育路教育網(wǎng)
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    作為新托福寫作考試的第2部分,獨立寫作要求考生在30分鐘內(nèi)完成一篇字?jǐn)?shù)在300字左右的議論文。而根據(jù)對ETS最新的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的解讀,我們發(fā)現(xiàn)閱卷者評判考生的文章遵循的原則是:“Readers should focus on what the examinee does well.”。這就意味著整個評分過程是考察考生表現(xiàn)出優(yōu)點的過程,而并非對考生的文章吹毛求疵的過程。因此,即使是一篇滿分的文章,也是允許考生有少量的錯誤。在本章中,育路教育網(wǎng)寫作組的專家將就獨立寫作部分的評分原則進(jìn)行深入的分析。

    一、不準(zhǔn)字?jǐn)?shù)不夠

    對于獨立寫作的字?jǐn)?shù)要求,官方的說法是:“An effective response is typically about 300 words long. If you write fewer than 300 words,you may still receive a top score,but experience has shown that shorter responses typically do not demonstrate the development of ideas needed to earn a score of 5.”�?梢姡粝氲玫礁叻�,考生最好能將文章寫到300字以上,雖然有些文章字?jǐn)?shù)不足但仍可得到滿分,但是畢竟這種情況比較罕見,要充分對于考題展開論述,從而有利地支持文章觀點,充足的字?jǐn)?shù)是必須的。

    二、不準(zhǔn)文章模式化

    文章的發(fā)展指的是運用例子,細(xì)節(jié)和理由來支持你在文章中所闡述的觀點。育路教育網(wǎng)分析發(fā)現(xiàn),閱卷者不希望看到考生為了湊字?jǐn)?shù)而過多使用一些“模式化”的單詞或句子來發(fā)展文章,也不愿意看到考生過多抄襲或者沿用題目中的句子。他們會考察考生在用自己的話論述觀點上的能力。比如:

    Some people say that advertising encourage us to buy things we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Yes,it is. I buyed much,because TV ads.

    顯然,這個考生除了增加幾個單詞外,只是完全抄襲了寫作題目,而且沒有關(guān)于文章話題的發(fā)展。并且出現(xiàn)了低級拼寫錯誤和連詞使用錯誤,因此屬于0分的文章。我們再來看看這個例子:

    The importance of the issue raised by the posed statement,namely creating a new holiday for people,can not be underestimated as it concerns the very fabric of society. As it stands,the issue of creating a new holiday raises profound implications for the future. However,although the subject matter in general can not be dismissed lightheartedly,the perspective of the issue as presented by the statement raises certain qualms regarding practical application.

    這個考生雖然寫了很多字,但是沒有發(fā)展出任何真正的主題,這個在獨立寫作中都是很忌諱的事情。

    三、不準(zhǔn)文章邏輯不清

    如果考生的文章是組織有序的,那么閱卷者從頭看到尾也不會感到糊涂。但是育路教育網(wǎng)在此提醒考生,文章結(jié)構(gòu)的有序,并不是單純地使用了諸如first,second之類的連詞就可以達(dá)成。文章中所有的句子必須服務(wù)于你的論述主題,一旦脫離了主題,那么再精辟的連詞也是徒勞的。此外,在獨立寫作的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)里提到了“unity”,“progression”,“coherence”,這就意味著考生需要將自己的觀點通過合理的句型表達(dá)出來,做到統(tǒng)一,層層遞進(jìn),連貫,以期讓閱卷者能夠“一目了然”文章的意圖。以下我們來看一個例子:

    In any relationship of mine,I would wish that first of all,the person I am dealing with is honest. Even though he/she thinks that he/she did something wrong that I wouldn‘t like,he/she’d better tell me the truth and not lie about it. Later on if I find out about a lie or hear the truth from someone else,that‘d be much more unpleasant. In that case how can I ever believe or trust that person again? How can I ever believe that this person has enough confidence in me to forgive him/her and carry on with the relationship from there. So if I cannot trust a person anymore,if the person doesn’t think I can handle the truth,there is no point to continuing that relationship.

    在這個段落里,作者的語言流暢,準(zhǔn)確,豐富,前后銜接緊密,語意連貫,句式較多變,并且使用了反問這種修辭手法,因此很好的完成了“組織”句子的目的。盡管不能說十全十美,但是這樣的論述仍舊可以得到滿分。與之形成鮮明對比的是:

    The people lining up in the embassy are applying for a variety of visas. Some applicants want student visas. Other applicants want resident visas. The other applicants want tourist visas. Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirements. According to a recent survey,the largest number of applicants are applying for tourist visas. The number of people applying for student visas comes in second. Among all the applicants,only a fraction want resident visas.

    這段話的主題句顯然是第一句,根據(jù)評分要求里對于段落一致性的要求,主題句后面的支持句都必須圍繞“不同的人在大使館里申請不同的簽證”這個話題展開論述。仔細(xì)分析后我們發(fā)現(xiàn)上面這段話里多了一個不相干的句子:“Applying for resident visas is very difficult; one has to meet a lot of requirement.”,這句話雖然也在談簽證,但是它談?wù)摰氖?ldquo;申請簽證很困難”這個論點,這樣的話和段落主題就不相同了。因此考生在寫文章時,一定要做到一個段落只講一個話題,主題句的論點必須貫穿這個段落,后面的每一個支持句都朝一個方向前進(jìn),只有這樣才能寫出條理分明的文章。

    四、不準(zhǔn)語言過于簡單

    新托福的獨立寫作部分要求考生的語言使用恰當(dāng),不過即便考生的詞匯使用時有一些小錯誤,他的文章也可以得到高分。但是如果同時還有一些語法錯誤的話,那么就很難讓閱卷者準(zhǔn)確理解句子的意圖,這個時候文章的得分就會比較低。另外,朗閣海外考試研究中心分析發(fā)現(xiàn),若考生只是使用一些簡單句和簡單的詞匯,那么他是無法來闡述較為復(fù)雜的問題的,而當(dāng)文章的句子和單詞過于簡單時,得分往往不會超過3分。

    Last month,I had a dispute with my parent. It started as a simple conversation that turned into an argument. I wanted to take a year off from school. Of course,my parents argued that I should stay in school. I tried to reason with them and I tried to persuade them that taking a year off from school and working would be valuable experience. My explanation fell on deaf ears,and they refused to let me continue the discussion. They felt I had not thoroughly examined the issue and saw no reason to debate the subject any longer.

    這段文字里劃線的幾處作者想要表達(dá)“討論”或者它的近義詞,通過巧妙地變換了詞匯,使整個段落不讓人感到乏味。這種語言表達(dá)的方式在獨立寫作里是非常實用的。我們再來看看以下這個例子:

    He is rich.

    這個句子的問題在于rich這個形容詞太含糊,他到底多有錢?從這個句子里我們無法看出。因此在獨立寫作中考生要盡量避免使用含糊的形容詞,能夠具體的盡量要具體些。比如上面的那個句子我們可以寫成:

    He owns a large company and has an annual income of 20 million dollars.

 

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