What I Have Lived For

    Three passions， simple but overwhelmingly strong， have governed my life： the longing for love， the search for knowledge， and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions， like great winds， have blown me hither and thither， in a wayward course， over a deep ocean of anguish， reaching to the verge of despair.

    I have sought love， first， because it brings ecstasy —— ecstasy so great that I would have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it， next， because it relieves loneliness —— that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it， finally， because in the union of love I have seen， in a mystic miniature， the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought， and though it might seem too good for human life， this is what —— at last —— I have found.

    With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men， I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds away above the flux. A little of this， but not much， I have achieved.

    Love and knowledge， so far as they were possible， led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberated in my heart. Children in famine， victims tortured by oppressors， helpless old people a hated burden to their sons， and the whole world of loneliness， poverty， and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil， but I cannot， and I too suffer.

    This has been my life. I have found it worth living， and I would gladly live it again if the chance were offered to me.

    「中文譯文」：三種簡單卻極其強烈的情感主宰著我的生活：對愛的渴望、對知識的追求、對人類痛苦的難以承受的憐憫之心。這三種情感，像一陣陣颶風一樣，任意地將我吹的飄來蕩去，越過痛苦的海洋，抵達絕望的彼岸。

    我尋找愛，首先，因為它令人心醉神迷，這種沉醉是如此美妙，以至于我愿意用余生來換取那幾個小時的快樂。我尋找愛，其次是因為它會減輕孤獨，置身于那種可怕的孤獨中，顫抖的靈魂在世界的邊緣，看到冰冷的、死寂的、無底深淵。我尋找愛，還因為在愛水乳交融時，在一個神秘的縮影中，我見到了先賢和詩人們所想象的、預覽的天堂。這就是我所追求的，盡管對于凡人來說，這好像是一種奢望。但這是我最終找到的。

    我曾以同樣的熱情來追求知識。我希望能理解人類的心靈，希望能知道為什么星星會發(fā)光。我也曾經(jīng)努力理解畢達哥拉斯學派的理論，他們認為數(shù)字主載著萬物的此消彼長。我了解了一點知識，但是不多。

    愛和知識，可以最大可能地，將人帶入天堂�？墒�，憐憫總是將我?guī)Щ氐孛�。人們因痛苦而發(fā)出的哭聲在我心中久久回響，那些饑荒中的孩子們，被壓迫者摧殘的受害者們，被子女視為可憎負擔的、無助的老人們，以及那無處不在的孤單、貧窮和無助都在諷刺著人類所本應(yīng)該有的生活。我渴望能夠消除人世間的邪惡，可是力不從心，我自己也同樣遭受著它們的折磨。

    這就是我的生活。我覺得活一場是值得的。如果給我機會的話，我愿意開心地，再活一次。