Much meaning can be conveyed, clearly, with our eyes, so it is often said that eyes can speak.
Do you have such kind of experience? In a bus you may look at stranger, but not too long. And if he is sensing that he is being stared at, he may feel uncomfortable.
The same in daily life. If you are looked at for more than necessary, you will look at yourself up and down, to see if there is anything wrong with you. If nothing goes wrong, you will feel angry toward other’s stare with you that way. Eyes do speak, right?
Looking too long at someone may seem to be rude and aggressive. But things are different when it comes to stare at the opposite sex. If a man glances at a woman for more than 10 seconds and refuses to avert his gaze, his intentions are obvious, that is, he wishes to attract her attention, to make her understand that he is admiring her.
However, the normal eye contact for two people engaged in conversation is that the speaker will only look at the listener from time to time, in order to make sure that the listener does pay attention to what the former is speaking, to tell him that he is attentive.
If a speaker looks at you continuously when speaking, as if he tries to dominate you, you will feel disconcerted. A poor liar usually exposes himself by looking too long at the victim, since he believes in the false idea that to look straight in the eye is a sign of honest communication. Quite the contrary.
In fact, continuous eye contact is confined to lovers only, who will enjoy looking at each other tenderly for a long time, to show affection that words cannot express.
Evidently, eye contact should be done according to the relationship between two people and the specific situation.
我們的眼睛能準(zhǔn)確地傳達(dá)一些信息,所以人們常說(shuō),眼睛會(huì)說(shuō)話。
你有過(guò)類似的體驗(yàn)嗎?在公共汽車上,你可能會(huì)看著一個(gè)陌生人,但時(shí)間不會(huì)太長(zhǎng)。而且,如果他能感覺(jué)到有人盯著他,會(huì)覺(jué)得渾身不自在。
日常生活中亦如此。如果別人一直盯著你看,你就會(huì)不由自主地審視自己,看看是不是有什么地方弄錯(cuò)了。如果一切正常,你就會(huì)對(duì)別人的這種盯梢很氣憤。眼睛確實(shí)能說(shuō)話,不是嗎?
過(guò)久的盯著別人看會(huì)給人一種粗魯和侵犯的感覺(jué)。但異性之間的凝視就不同了。如果一個(gè)男人盯著一個(gè)女人超過(guò)10秒鐘,還不想挪開(kāi)視線的話,他的意思就十分明顯了,他想引起她的注意,想讓她知道他愛(ài)慕她。
正常情況下,兩人交談時(shí),目光接觸能傳達(dá)這樣的意思:說(shuō)者偶爾看看聽(tīng)者,以此確認(rèn)聽(tīng)著是否在認(rèn)真傾聽(tīng)。而對(duì)于聽(tīng)者來(lái)說(shuō),他會(huì)一直看著說(shuō)話的人,以此告訴他,自己正專心致志的聽(tīng)著。
假如與你說(shuō)話的那個(gè)人直直的盯著你,好像要鎮(zhèn)住你似的,你便會(huì)感到惶恐不安。一般地,說(shuō)謊者往往就是看別人的時(shí)間過(guò)長(zhǎng),而令人起疑。因?yàn)樗麄円詾橹币晞e人的眼睛是誠(chéng)實(shí)溝通的表現(xiàn),結(jié)果恰恰相反。
實(shí)際上,長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的相互凝視僅適合情人之間,他們喜歡溫柔的對(duì)視,用目光來(lái)傳達(dá)言語(yǔ)無(wú)法表達(dá)的愛(ài)意。 顯然,目光交流應(yīng)該根據(jù)雙方的關(guān)系和特定場(chǎng)合來(lái)進(jìn)行。 |