寫作——寫作步驟核心指導(dǎo)
2009年12月四級(jí)作文真題
Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the topic of Creating A Green Campus.You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
1.建設(shè)綠色校園很重要
2.綠色校園不僅指綠色的環(huán)境……
3.為了建設(shè)綠色校園,我們應(yīng)該……
(一)審題立意
1.首先審題目以及提綱,考生很容易判斷出這是問(wèn)題解決類作文。
2.該作文體現(xiàn)出一種較新的命題方式,首先在題材上,依然是我們所熟悉的校園類話題,同時(shí)兼顧社會(huì)的熱點(diǎn):環(huán)保問(wèn)題,這也與社會(huì)的大背景有關(guān)系,剛剛閉幕的哥本哈根世界氣候大會(huì)也同時(shí)關(guān)注環(huán)保減排這個(gè)主題,因此我們的作文也與社會(huì)熱點(diǎn)有很大的關(guān)系。分析題目Green “綠色”和Campus “校園”是本作文的關(guān)鍵詞。考生應(yīng)該考慮綠色校園具體是什么含義。重點(diǎn)應(yīng)放在綠色校園的含義以及我們應(yīng)該采取的措施上�?季硪呀�(jīng)列出了提綱,這是對(duì)“三段式”提綱類作文寫作結(jié)構(gòu)的考查。
(二)草擬提綱
段落一闡述問(wèn)題段①開門見(jiàn)山,綠色校園引發(fā)人們關(guān)注;②建立綠色校園對(duì)自己、他人及社會(huì)都有重要影響。
段落二說(shuō)明原因段①綠色校園具有兩層含義;②綠色,無(wú)污染;③人文精神、文明建設(shè)、人文關(guān)懷、和諧。
段落三解決方法段①為了建設(shè)綠色校園,個(gè)人、學(xué)校、政府和社會(huì)各界應(yīng)該采取哪些措施;②對(duì)未來(lái)的展望。
根據(jù)以上構(gòu)思,寫作提綱如下:
Creating A Green Campus
What’s a green campus and how to creat a green campus?
Creating A Green Campus
I.Nowadays the topic of a green campus has aroused public attention.
1.It is of vital importance to the students
2.It has a profound impact on society
II.The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.
1.green environment preservation and protection
2.a civilized atmosphere for students’ mental health
III.It is imperative for us to take effective measures to creat a green campus.
1.The law and regulations should be worked out
2.Enhanced the awareness of the students themselves
(三)落筆寫作
1.闡述問(wèn)題段 根據(jù)題目中的提綱,首先強(qiáng)調(diào)建立綠色校園的重要性,最好在此句之前做一個(gè)鋪墊,介紹建立綠色校園受到人們廣泛關(guān)注這一背景信息,即the topic of a green campus has aroused public attention.
常見(jiàn)問(wèn)題:用詞匱乏。如:“很重要” important。
使用對(duì)策:使用精彩替換詞。如:the indispensable part for, has a profound impact on, significance等。
2.說(shuō)明原因段 對(duì)綠色校園的兩方面含義進(jìn)行論述。另外在展開論證過(guò)程中,抽象句子要舉例說(shuō)明,如:such as planting more trees and flowers, for example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams,這些具體信息使文章更生動(dòng),容易理解。
常見(jiàn)問(wèn)題:結(jié)構(gòu)不清,缺乏層次感。
使用對(duì)策:要注意各個(gè)理由之間的邏輯關(guān)系,適當(dāng)?shù)剡\(yùn)用表示層次關(guān)系的詞語(yǔ),如:to begin with, in addition to; furthermore/not only … but also …/ what’s more; for example/for instance/such as; in other words/ in particular等。
本文的說(shuō)明原因段可分為如下三個(gè)層次進(jìn)行論證:
�、匍_門見(jiàn)山:首先對(duì)“綠色校園”在下文要涉及的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行總體概括:The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.
�、谡嬲撟C:說(shuō)明“綠色校園”的第一層含義,也就是我們最熟知的一層含義,即campus construction refers to green environment preservation and protection。然后舉例進(jìn)一步解釋此含義,并強(qiáng)調(diào)其重要性:which makes campus an ecological and natural resort.在這個(gè)過(guò)程中考生要注意亮點(diǎn)詞匯以及句型的使用。
③反面論證:使用in addition to引出“綠色校園”的第二層含義,即create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of students’ mental health.然后舉例進(jìn)一步解釋此含義。如:For example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
3.解決方法段 鑒于“綠色校園”的重要性,說(shuō)明采取措施的必要性,如:To bring “green campus” to its full play, effective measures should be taken.
常見(jiàn)問(wèn)題:用語(yǔ)過(guò)于直白或極端。如:We must…/ We should…等。
使用對(duì)策:要站在中庸的立場(chǎng)上,客觀地提出建議,可使用一些表示客觀立場(chǎng)的詞語(yǔ),如:It is essential that …; Only by the coefforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly.這樣使自己的觀點(diǎn)表達(dá)得既委婉又客觀。
Creating A Green Campus
Nowadays the topic of a green campus has been widely debated which has aroused public attention.Undoubtedly, a green campus, the indispensable part for the development of college students, has a profound impact on both individuals and society, for its significance cannot be denied.
The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.To begin with, campus construction refers to green environment preservation and protection, such as planting more trees and flowers, which makes campus an ecological and natural resort, and advocating green products.For example, students are encouraged to avoid using disposable plastic containers in campus dining hall and recycle wasted batteries and other electrical products properly.In addition to the environmentally friendly practice, we shall make every effort to improve the moral standard and ethical level of university students in order to create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of students’ mental health.For example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
To bring “green campus” to its full play, effective measures should be taken.First, based on its education function, campus should bring the theory of “sustainable development” into classrooms, set environmental management rules and conduct environmental education activities.Second, it is essential that law and regulations be worked out and enforced by the government and school authorities.Only by the co-efforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly and bring benefit to people’s well-beings.
(四)修改潤(rùn)色
作文基本完成以后,主要有以下兩項(xiàng)任務(wù):
1.檢查
檢查是否包含考卷提綱列出的所有信息;各段落銜接是否連貫,使用In the first place, Furthermore, On the one hand, For instance, On the other hand等詞可以達(dá)到這種效果;語(yǔ)法上單詞拼寫上是否有誤,如較長(zhǎng)單詞indispensable,environmentally friendly,preservation,plagiarizing等,以及短語(yǔ)has a profound impact on,disposable plastic containers,in case of,bring …to its full play, bring benefit to以及最后一段中虛擬語(yǔ)氣、倒裝句使用是否正確。避免使用“漢語(yǔ)式英語(yǔ)”;檢查文章標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是否正確。
2.潤(rùn)色
例如:Only by the coefforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly and bring benefit to people’s wellbeings中使用倒裝句的結(jié)構(gòu),凸顯考生的語(yǔ)法功底。 |