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同等學(xué)力英語(yǔ)作文批改:第103期

來(lái)源:育路教育網(wǎng) 時(shí)間:2011-07-01 15:32:40

  同等學(xué)力英語(yǔ)作文原文

  My View on Reform of Medical Care in China

  With the development of socialism economics, more and more people pay amount of attention on their heath care .  On the other hand , the expensive medicine and associate examination is the most important obstacle for ordinary people in china. If you want to get the registration of specialists , you would sleep on the ground outside the gate of hospital. And run faster than others to get the special number next morning .

  What is the main reason of those horrible things.  On my view ,the main reason is the unsoundness of medical care system in China.

  As a doctor of ultrasonics , as a doctor stand in the first line confront patients directly , here are the suggestion below .

  First, increase the investment of medical care insurance .

  Second, improve the consciousness of personal care by lectures and public welfare announcement .

  Third , improve the quality of medical service ,and support development of hospitals more than before.

  Finally , we all want to get success of the reform of medical care in our motherland .
  
  點(diǎn)評(píng):7-8分
  
  文章的結(jié)構(gòu)和題目要求不符,根據(jù)題目要求有三段就可以了,段指明問(wèn)題,第二段分析原因,第三段建議,可是你的結(jié)構(gòu)完全不是按照這個(gè)順序?qū)懙�,今后要多看看范文,學(xué)習(xí)結(jié)構(gòu)安排和語(yǔ)言表達(dá)方面的技巧。加油啊。一定要注意審題才能避免跑題的錯(cuò)誤。

結(jié)束

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