下面是小編為考生們精心整理了2014年考研英語作文(考生作文批改及評分),希望對考生們有所幫助,取得2014考研的成功。
寫作原文
①Looking at this thought-provoking picture(加“which was”,其中which引導(dǎo)定語從句,修飾picture;was和后面的depicted構(gòu)成被動語態(tài)) symbolically depicted by the drawer, I do realize the urgency to improve the moral standards nowadays. ②A pregnant woman, an old man and his little granddaughter stands(“stands”改為“stand”,該句主語為復(fù)數(shù),主謂應(yīng)保持一致)on the crowded bus, looking at a young man who sits in the seat comfortably with a piece of black cloth covering his eyes, puzzled and indignant(“puzzled and indignant”是用來修飾the yong man, 或是作者“感到困惑和憤怒”,應(yīng)表達清晰;若要表達作者的情感,可改為:...covering his eyes. I feel puzzled and indignant).①The temporary blind in the picture indicates a serious phenomenon in the modern society that some young people are suffering from moral decline. ②The reasons contributing to moral decline are worth pondering. ③First, respecting the old and caring the young is abandoned by some modern people, because they only care about their own benefits. ④Only if you could provide them with a great outcome(“a great outcome”改為“great outcomes”,和them保持一致), will they lend you a hand(“a hand”改為“hands”,和they保持一致) in exchange. ⑤In addition, the educational system is also to blame(“be to blame for”意為“對……應(yīng)負責任;應(yīng)該為某事負責任”,如果要表述“教育體制也應(yīng)對此負責”,可表達為: the educational system is also to blame for the phenomenon;如若要表述“教育體制也應(yīng)受到責備”,可表達為the educational system should also to be blamed). ⑥It emphasizes more on high marks at the expense of having few time to teach traditional moral values in school which leads to people’s defect (“defect”為可數(shù)名詞,此處應(yīng)改為“defects”和people保持一致)on this issue.①It is high time that we fostered our moral values. ②For one thing, schools and governments should play an active role (“an active role”應(yīng)改為“active roles”,前后主謂保持一致,主語為schools and governments)in advocating moral values and traditional virtues to teach the young. ③For another, individuals should learn more about virtues and help people around with a warm heart(“a warm heart”改為“ warm hearts”,前后單復(fù)數(shù)保持一致). ④Only through our joint effort(“effort”應(yīng)改為“efforts”,前后單復(fù)數(shù)保持一致), could we recollect the virtues.
原作點評
第一段描述圖畫的內(nèi)容。第①句,picture應(yīng)該是被drawer描繪的,所以應(yīng)該用被動語態(tài)“be+動詞的過去的、分詞”來表示;第②句比較后,表達不夠清晰,應(yīng)注意。第二段揭示圖畫的寓意,闡述產(chǎn)生此現(xiàn)象的幾個原因。應(yīng)注意單復(fù)數(shù)問題。第三段結(jié)合前兩段的闡述,提出建議。
總體點評
文章亮點:文章結(jié)構(gòu)完整,每個段落的功能基本得以體現(xiàn)。文章錯誤:①語法錯誤:文章出現(xiàn)了一些語法錯誤,比如被動語態(tài)、名詞單復(fù)數(shù)形式等。②句法錯誤:有的句子表達不夠清楚。比如第一段第②句,第二段第⑤句。修改意見:文章整體結(jié)構(gòu)不錯,但是要注意一些細節(jié),避免不必要的錯誤。本文中,單復(fù)數(shù)一致問題較多,希望作者在完成習作時應(yīng)多檢查,盡量減少此類錯誤。
參考分數(shù)(滿分20分):13
特別聲明:①凡本網(wǎng)注明稿件來源為"原創(chuàng)"的,轉(zhuǎn)載必須注明"稿件來源:育路網(wǎng)",違者將依法追究責任;
②部分稿件來源于網(wǎng)絡(luò),如有侵權(quán),請聯(lián)系我們溝通解決。
25人覺得有用
13
2013.12
查看:2014年考研英語作文寫作160篇匯總 下面是小編為考生們精心整理了2014年考研英語作文(考......
13
2013.12
查看:2014年考研英語作文寫作160篇匯總 下面是小編為考生們精心整理了2014年考研英語作文(考......
13
2013.12
序 號 2014年考研英語......
12
2013.12
所謂萬能這個概念,如果大家都去這么用的話,就等于沒有用了。PartB部分是有的,但是partA沒有,P......
12
2013.12
1. superior to others高人一等 2. The large scale development of West China is of profoun......
10
2013.12
考研英語作文屬于限制性命題。即通過多種暗示要求考生在規(guī)定的時間內(nèi)寫出命題者所期望的內(nèi)容。這些......